About a Boy

Once upon a time I fell in love with a man who carried G.I. Joes in his pocket and thought that Sunny D was orange juice.  The G.I. Joes belonged to his sidekick- a 5 year old boy- who didn't have a bedtime and could quote lines from Kill Bill.

They needed me.

The three of us became a family.  They made me a wife and a mom.  They gave me a home away from my home.  They filled my heart.  They took my simple upbringing and shook it up a bit with terms like "stepmom" and "blended family."  They pulled me out of my comfort zone and challenged me to try something different.  Something difficult!  Something that God surely orchestrated.  Something that would change me.  "If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies."

I needed them.

Tomorrow that boy turns 12 years old.  For some reason, this feels to me like a special birthday.  This one marks change- the beginning of the transformation from boy to young man. And the summer has been filled with growth and positivity for him, and the result has been the unification of our family, unlike anything we've experienced.  And it has been a pleasure to watch him begin to change.  And it has been a pleasure to be his mom.

But it hasn't always been easy!  No!  He is a boy and I am a girl.  He is a child and I am an adult.  He is messy and I like clean.  He is loud and I like quiet.  He is lazy and I am busy.  He is extremely competitive and I am not.  He doesn't like math.  He pees on the seat.  He wears socks when he goes to bed but kicks them off in the middle of the night and then waits until he runs out of clean socks before he pulls off his sheets to retrieve them.  He was born to a woman who is not me.  Sometimes we battle.  Sometimes we cry.  Sometimes I want to take my babies and run away and yell back, "Good luck with that boy!"  But my husband listens to my rants, and he mediates as best he can, and he always looks into my eyes, with tears in his own, and begs, "Please don't give up on him.  He needs you."

He needs me.

I need him.

Along with the challenges, there is so much good.  He is such a good boy.  He is funny and silly, and creative and talented.  He is inquisitive- so curious!- about so many, many things.  When we drive somewhere, he asks question after question about the most random stuff.  Today he asked me, "Have you ever found money on the ground?  How much?  Why is George Washington on the dollar bill?  Is it because he was the first president, so they have him on the $1.00?  You know, #1?  When are they going to put more recent leaders on currency?..."  HUH??

He loves Lucy and Max so much.  He gets so excited when he teaches them something new.  He taught Max how to high-five, and Lucy is continually learning about "the force."  This morning I found Joe and Lu cuddled up on my bed watching Star Wars.  Lucy said, "Mom, this is my favorite movie ever."  Oh really?  Do you even understand this movie?  I don't!  One of Joe's daily chores is to babysit Lucy for 30 minutes.  I am not sure who really benefits the most from this chore-  me, because I get a short break from entertaining Lucy.  Or Lucy, because she soaks up Joe's attention and adores him.  Or Joe, because he can feel that he is becoming more responsible, and that he is looked up to by his younger siblings.

Joe stills plays like a child, which is something that Devon and I think is absolutely wonderful.  Innocence is preserved!  He plays with Webkinz (stuffed animals) occasionally, and I often hear him making sound effects when his Legos are in an intense battle.  He is a Lego maniac.  He will sometimes dress up as a ninja, or a gladiator, or a prince (when Lucy can talk him into it!  A princess needs a prince!).  He watches Tom & Jerry and Spongebob, and he wears dinosaur pajamas (though he was a little offended that I bought them for him!).

He will start middle school next week.  He is so anxious for his voice to begin to change.  He is nervous that he won't be able to unlock his locker.  He is excited to wear his new "skinny jeans," which actually look like baggy jeans on his skinny butt!

I hope that he has a really great year.  I hope that the work that he did on math this summer will help him in class and build his confidence as a student.  I hope that he learns that it is okay to try something new and that it is okay to not always win.  I hope that he makes good choices.  I hope that he knows how much I love him.  Everyday he seems to open more of his heart to me, and I am also opening more of mine to him.

Because he needs me!

And I need him!