13

Tomorrow is Lucy's 13th birthday, and tonight I'm feeling nostalgic about the night that I was laboring in the hospital, waiting to see my girl's little face. 

How quickly the years are passing. How I long to go back and hold her tiny hand, or put bows in her hair and dress her in sparkly skirts and leggings, or bring home toys that would make her smile. 

Life is different at 13. I don't really get to hold her hand (which isn't so tiny anymore), but she still needs me to do her hair, and the skirts and leggings have been replaced with high waisted jeans and hoodies, and the toys have all been packed away, but I can find new ways to make her smile. 

I remember that I bought a birthday card on Lucy's 1st birthday, with the intention of expressing all my love with words that she would read years later. That card sat empty blank for a long time. I just couldn't even attempt to put into words how I felt about this little lady and what it meant to me to be her mama. I finally wrote those very words in the card, something like, "I cannot put into words how much you are loved by me..." and I stored the card in her special box of keepsakes. Hmmm, my intentions were good but my end result was lacking. 

So maybe I can do better now, now that I have 13 years of butt-kicking motherhood under my belt.

Lucy, the day that you were born was truly the best day of my life. Meeting you was the fulfillment of my life's hopes and dreams. And there you were, with a round face and a dimpled chin, looking up at me, giving me the honor of being your mom. 

You are delightful and you always have been. You make people smile. You are optimistic (even though your humor is a bit on the dark side these days), you are encouraging, you are brave, you are sensitive, you are wise in your choices, and you are loving. You make me so proud. I love who you are and I love who you are becoming. 

I love hearing you sing, I love watching you dance, I love your silliness, I love your creativity, and I love your zest for life. 

In your lifetime, you have already experienced great loss, and yet you have not let it harden you. You inspire me with your hope. 

When we moved from Washington, I was so afraid to take you away from all that you'd ever known, but you were so resilient and you made new friends with ease.

You are a loved by your brothers, more than you will ever know.

And you are loved, deep down into your bones, by me and your dad. 

It truly is an honor that you call me mom. 

Happy birthday Lucy. I hope that 13 is all that you wish for and more. 

2020

Wow, I haven't written a blog post in a long time. I am out of practice. I'm not quite sure how to begin.
I miss this ol' blog. Whenever I look back on old posts, I feel so grateful for this record of our lives during those seasons, and I also feel sad that I didn't keep writing consistently once we moved to California. All of the funny things that Cooper has said and done the past six years; the many ways that Lucy and Max have grown and changed, and their participation in various activities; and Joe's years as a teenager, managing high school, a job, baseball, friends... I wish I'd blogged about all of it.
Sometimes I catch Devon reading blog posts to Cooper while they snuggle in Cooper's top bunk. It warms my heart.
So, here I am, not willing to let another year, this year, go by without some effort to chronicle our lives, the happy and the sad.

Tomorrow the kids go back to school, and Christmas break has felt long and lazy. We didn't travel at all or even leave the house much. Aaron, Molly, Clarke and Monty were visiting from Oregon, so we had a lot of time with them, and some of the kids' friends came over, but for the most part we were cozy at home.
Speaking of home, my house has taken a beating. Max got a hoverboard for Christmas, along with a go-cart attachment, and I foolishly allowed it to be used inside the house. The hoverboard itself didn't cause much damage, but the go-cart has left skid marks on my tile, some baseboards, and the closet door. While balancing on the hoverboard, Max steadied himself on a floating wall shelf, causing the shelf to rip out of the wall and crash on the tile along with the plants it was holding. So, that was a mess. My stainless steel refrigerator has 4 new dings, and our trash can has a sizable dent. I shrugged off all of this- because its a house, not a museum, right?- but once Max took a chunk out of the corner of a wall, I had to put a stop to our indoor motorway. But it was fun while it lasted.

Max quickly learned how to use the hoverboard 

Max gave rides to Clarke (and Monty too)

Clarke loves Maxy

Cooper turned 6 years old on Christmas day! He is such a good Christmas-birthday boy. He doesn't require any extra attention on an already chaotic day. In fact, we could barely get him to come to the table to let us sing Happy Birthday to him because was too busy playing with his cousins and all the new toys. His big gift this year was a Nintendo Switch, but he also received many Lego Ninjago sets and a new scooter. And now he has his first loose tooth!

Here are some more pics of the past couple weeks-

Christmas Eve

New pajamas for everyone!

fuzzy crocs... ???

Papa and Nana on Christmas

Grandma and Tutu

teenage Lu and Ellee

Charlotte was in Nutcracker attire all day

Max and Brady are getting so big

Charlotte did Molly's make-up, and she would lick the brush before application, which was hilarious!

Sweet Monty

I watched Clarke and Monty on Aaron's birthday while Molly and Aaron went out to lunch. Monty fell asleep on the floor surrounded by toys.

An intense game of Stratego between Coop and Dev

I worked out with Devon on New Years Day, and I was sore for the next 3 days

Lucy and Ocean doing what they do. Monty thought Ocean's name was Dolphin. 

We got to visit with Zach while he was home. He is being deployed this year, so we won't get to see him again for a while.

Okay, it has taken me three days to complete this post, and I had to upload the pictures twice. I've got to get better at this!