Friends, I am in the final month of pregnancy! At this time, I am beginning to lose sleep over the anxiety that I feel about giving birth. I had a really great birthing experience with Lucy, so I am not sure what I am fretting about, but I suppose that as an expert worrier (as Devon calls me), I am finding things to worry about. From the pending car ride to the hospital, to the hospital check-out and car ride home, I am worried about everything in between.I had a doctor appointment on Monday, and while I sat in the waiting room, I picked up a pregnancy magazine. Much to my surprise, there were pictures of a real-live birth. OH MY! Those were images that I didn't want to see! Just then the nurse called my name, and I didn't hesitate to tell her, "This magazine needs a warning--BIRTHING PHOTOS INSIDE!" I was so appalled, and she didn't seem to share my shock. She just assured me, "Oh, honey, you will be great! It is such an amazing experience, yada yada yada."
Devon's encouraging words were, "Honey, we'll just hike your knees up to your ears and you will push until he comes out-- no problem!"
It is too late. The images are now locked in my head, and I don't want to do this anymore!
So, here I sit, 36 weeks pregnant, I can't see or reach my toes, I can't sleep, I waddle, only sweatpants fit now, and I have no choice but to expose my booty and surrounding areas and PUSH!
Stay tuned for the blogs that will follow Max's arrival, because I am confident that I will be so in love with him, and the birthing won't be as bad as I've imagined, and I will be elated about the fact that I just gave birth again and I am a Superhero.
But until that blog is posted, I am wishing that the whole pregnancy/birthing experience came with a million dollar prize! Isn't it kind of ironic that with the bliss of having a baby and being a parent also comes sleepless nights, complete body transformation, emotional instability... poopy diapers, barf ... bad report cards and bad attitudes ... rebellion ... and college tuition?? What a mixed bag!
Wow, I'm in a mood! Did I mention that it April 1st and it is currently snowing outside? I need sunshine!
5 comments:
Ohhhhh Honey,
First off I know you will do great. If you remember after having Lucy you wanted to go back to the hospital put on the gown and do it again! I fully understand your anxiety but feel the need to remind you that this is your chance to participate in a miracle! As far as why do women do this to themselves? ( body changing, poopy diapers, etc.) I can only say there is a love, a sense of purpose, pride and accomplishment you could never experience any other way. Hope that encourages you. Love you!
First off, congrats on one month left! Secondly, if you were ready to head back into the hospital after Lucy, consider yourself lucky! I wouldn't even walk by the birthing room after the fact because I was so traumatized! And, I just now started considering baby no. 2! It sounds like you were a champ the first time and I'm sure you'll be a champ the second time around! But, I am a professional worrier too, so I completely get it!
It does amaze me the amount of 24/7 hard work that comes with being a parent...but as we all know, it's so worth it all! Hang in there and I hope the sun shines brightly for you tomorrow! :)
Woohoo for the home stretch!! Annie would it surprise you to know that I am actually jealous of you??? Yes, it's true! All prego, and everyone is on bump watch wondering when it will happen. You go to the weekly dr. apt which I know you dread but I always loved! Such a mystery...am I efaced...dialated...who knows?!
You make really good babies and push them out quite well I have heard!!! Remember even though we all can't be there for you...your new bff epidural will be!!
I love your blog because those are feelings WE ALL REMEMBER FEELING... this little gift has to come OUT OF ME? Ah-hem? But miss Annie, you are a strong, incredible woman and you will be a rockstar when the time comes. How quickly we forget how miserable the "giving birth part" is when we get to hold that little miracle. AND....... How excited are you to be NOT PREGGERS? ;-) Miss you.
You can do it!
I fully remember feeling everything that you wrote about, hopefully that's comforting, and makes us 'normal' :o)
Brynners was WAY easier to deliver and I remember thinking - huh, not so bad! Seriously.
A Superhero is the perfect image to keep in mind - yes, I might need to find a cape for you, with a big, sparkley A on it!!
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