F.L.A.S.H.

I have just returned home from an informative meeting about F.L.A.S.H.

I wish that I could tell you that this acronym stands for

Free Latte and Stylish Haircut!

or maybe even

Fabulous Ladies and Sophisticated Housewives!

No, no.

Family Life and Sexual Health

That's right.

Birds and bees!

The 5th grade is about to get interesting!

As a terrified parent, I thought I'd prepare myself with some knowledge regarding the curriculum. I had asked Devon if he would like to attend the meeting (you know, Devon? Joe's flesh and blood?), but his response was somewhere along the lines of haha hell no, followed by, "You should go because you probably want to get out of the house today."

Um, did my husband just suggest that a F.L.A.S.H. meeting somehow qualifies as "me time" or a mommy-break???????

Anyway, I left the meeting with an understanding of what Joe will be learning about puberty, reproductive systems, and pregnancy, and if you happen to notice that I did not include SEX in that list, then perhaps there is hope that Joe will not notice either!

Yes, the lessons skip from reproductive systems to pregnancy with a one-time, sneeze and you'll miss it, clinical definition of intercourse.

Lord, help me now!

So, of course, parents are encouraged to be available and open with conversation regarding the topics at hand. Who better to teach our children than us??

My sister-in-law, Jill, loaned me a book (by Dr. Richard Dobbins) that I have yet to open (maybe I can delay puberty by not reading the book!), but I think that it is time to dust it off and prepare myself for such an important task. I'd hate for my children to seek information- and misinformation- from their peers because their parents are too awkward when it comes to discussing sex. The time has come for me to grow up and say words like "penis" without wincing

Oh dear, wish me luck!