Wisdom, Please!

I got a call today from the principal of Joe's school.

"Ms. Rantz, I have Joe here in the office, and we have a situation that I'd like to talk to you about."

Sigh.

I am torn. I kind of feel like, "Wow, we made it all the way to 7th grade without ever getting a call from the principal! Not bad, Rantz!" But I mostly feel that Joe should stay in his room, where he currently waits for Devon's arrival home from work, for the remainder of his teenage years.

Part of me wanted to interrupt the principal early in the conversation and say, "Oh, you see, I'm not his biological mom. Let me get you that number," hoping that I could somehow escape.  Yet most of me felt completely involved and invested, claiming, "Yep, I'm his mom. What did he do? Lay it on me. I can take it. I'm ready. Give it to me straight. Let's do this."

Joe was in trouble for making a bad decision. Like on a scale of 1 (disrespecting a substitute teacher's authority) to 10 (smoking weed in the boys locker room), his bad decision was a 1. See, not so bad, right? But disappointing, and certainly a situation that calls for the line straight from the parenting handbook, "Son, you know better."

As Joe continues to grow up despite my best efforts to keep him interested in Legos and Spongebob, I'm swimming through some foreign waters, and I am terrified. Terrified! My own adolesence only gives me so much material to pull experience from, and, if I do say so myself, I was a rather well behaved teenager with a prestine reputation. :) Okay, take your finger out of your mouth, stop gagging. I'm only trying to lighten the mood with a little self-inflating humor. But, no, really, I was a super good girl.

Devon, on the other hand, has a whole utility belt full of teenage life-experiences. They aren't my stories to tell or else I'd give you an earful, but trust me, they are good stories. And by "good", I mean bad. And by "bad" I mean that if any of our children follow the adolescent course of their beloved father, I am sure to meet an early grave.

But getting back to the topic at hand, what the heck do I do with a teenage boy? Where is that mysterious parenting handbook?

Joe's principal knew that we have a blended family. She said, "You know, I am a stepmom too, and I know that it is not for the faint of heart." Those are the golden words. She knows! She knows! She has walked in my shoes and she understands! She spoke empathy to me and instantly tears filled my eyes. "I deal with many, many kids and families, all with varied home situations, and I can tell that Joe respects you. He begged me not to call his parents. Begged. I finally asked him, 'So, who am I calling, mom or dad?' and he chose mom, and that says a lot. Whatever you've got going on with Joe, it is a good thing."

(Note to self: add "cried to Joe's principal" to your list of embarassing moments)

Again, sigh.

I mentioned last week that I've been doing the Bible study Mercy Triumphs, and it is an eight week study that ends tomorrow, but on the very first week we studied James 1 where we found, "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without criticizing, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5). Um, was that verse written just for me? Was this study written just for me? One paragraph in the study even reads, "Some of us need to find decent help with child care or to know where to educate a child with learning disabilities. We wonder how to deal with stepchildren. Or stepparents. Or in-laws. Some of our marriages are in trouble, and we don't know what to try next... We need help... We need the wisdom of God. Now." You'd better believe that ever since I read that verse, I've been constantly asking God for His wisdom in parenting, and today is no exception!

I think I'll end here for today. I was going to launch into what I've learned recently about emotional eating, but I'll save that blog for another day. For now, I'll just say that emotions are high and Girl Scout cookies are calling my name.  Yikes!