"Going Out"

When I was in the fourth grade, a boy named Aaron asked me to "go out" with him. Or maybe he asked me to "go" with him, and, actually, he didn't ask me himself- a boy named Leighton asked me if I would "go" or "go out" with Aaron.

My answer was yes, and just like that, I had my first boyfriend!

Aaron and I didn't speak at all during our 4 day courtship. Nope, not even one word was exchanged! No, it wasn't the most fulfilling relationship that I've ever had, but I must admit that it wasn't the worst relationship I've ever had either!

I don't remember which of us initiated the break-up after 4 days, and what I really mean is did I send a girl to Aaron to give the bad news, or did he send Leighton back to me to do the dirty work? No damage was done to my 10 year old heart, and eventually Aaron and I resumed our verbal communication.

What I remember most about this experience is trying to explain it to my parents.

I think it went something like this:

them: Where are you and Aaron going?

me: Nowhere! We aren't going anywhere!

them: Then why do you call it "going out"?

me: I don't know!

them: So, you are going steady?

me: I don't know! No one calls it that! We are just going together.

them: Going where?

me: Nowhere!

them: Well, just so we are clear, you aren't going anywhere with a boy until you are 16 (which was a rule that stuck).

me: UGH! We aren't going anywhere! We are just going out!

(SKIP FORWARD 20 YEARS)

Joseph got a phone call from a girl yesterday (maybe his first phone call ever. Wait- definitely his first phone call ever!). With a look of confusion, he took the phone down to his room, and though I was trying my very best to eavesdrop from the top of the stairs, Lucy chose this moment to say, "Mommy! Watch me sing!" She proceeded to sing at the top of her lungs, and I couldn't hear Joe's side of the phone conversation at all. "Wow, Lucy, that was really great!"

Joe came back upstairs less than a minute later and said, "Uh, she said that Sara wants me to go out with her." His face was lit up like a light bulb!

"Wow! Do you think that Sara knows?"

"Yes, I could hear her giggling in the background. So, I am supposed to meet her after school tomorrow to go out. I guess we will go to Zeek's Pizza."

"Um, no, I don't think that you are actually going anywhere. First of all, you don't have any money, and second, that would be a date, and you are far too young to go on a date." (I actually used my fingers to list off my 2 points- am I a mom or what??).

"Then why did she call it 'going out' if we aren't supposed to go anywhere?"

"I don't know- that is just what it is called."

He agreed, I think, or he was just a bit shocked about the total significance of the phone call that he didn't know what else to do but follow my lead. So, I seized my opportunity!

"Joe, 'going out' means that she wants you to be her boyfriend- she likes you- and please remember to be kind to her and remember that she is a daughter and sister, so treat her how you'd like Lucy to be treated by a boy. And I think that you are too young to be kissing, don't you agree?..."

I'm confident that he tuned me out after "she likes you," though he continued to nod as if he was listening, all while his face was beaming and his smile was wider than I've ever seen.

Oh boy.

He couldn't wait to tell his dad. He couldn't wait to tell his friends. I am anxiously waiting to hear about his day at school. Joe told me that he and Sara just say hello to each other occasionally, so I am imagining (or perhaps hoping for) a relationship similar to mine with Aaron. Innocence, folks! I am hoping for innocence!

Max took his first steps this morning, and Joe has his first girlfriend. How did I get here?