"I want to be a devil. You should be an angel, Lucy."
"Yes! Or I could be God. I should just be God!"
"Too bad that no one knows what God looks like."
Cooper didn't miss a beat, or even look up from his Kindle to say, "Joe does."
Joe does.
The voices in the van were silent only for a moment. I couldn't tell if they were thinking about Cooper's words, or if it was simply a lull in the conversation. But I took in Cooper's words. Joe is with God. Joe sees God. That is so big. Too big for me.
Now that I am reflecting on this story, I feel a sense of pride in my child's whereabouts. Facebook is always full of updates involving the seasonal transition of the new school year or the upcoming holidays, and they are hard to read. Your son is in college? Your son is traveling the world? Your son is engaged, getting married soon? Well, my son is with God. I am fooling myself to think that I wouldn't rather have him here on earth, and to have a Facebook update to share about Joe's life.
Back to the minivan, the girls continued their conversation, and I tried to engage Max, even though he seemed to be considering the girls' costume ideas.
"Crazy, right? Joe is with God." I said to him.
I could have assumed that he would not engage in this conversation with me. It is a little heavy for a commute to the dentist. Plus, Lucy and Max don't like me to be sad, so they avoid conversations that might make me emotional.
Max asked, "Do we even know what Jesus looked like?"
"Um, he was Jewish."
Max said, "He was Jewish? Hmm. That's kinda weird."
I don't know why it is weird that Jesus was Jewish, but I know that Cooper knows that his big brother is with God. I love the faith of my 4 year old, and I love that he unabashedly speaks of Joe.
And this is our new normal.
 |
| Joe's 20th birthday |
2 comments:
How can I even explain just how much I love you all?. How much I love your words? How much I miss our Joe and always will, until I get to see him again?? That Cooper, he just makes me smile and he sure keeps us all going!❤️
This is December 15, 2018 and I have come to your Facebook page and Devon's which led me here. I needed a Joseph fix and saw the videos on FB which were so real to see him happy with his family. Then I saw your posts here in 2016, 17 and 18 which I had not seen before. I love Cooper's comment and he makes them to me sometimes about Joe. He is a tuned in little wise guy. My love and thoughts are wish you today and I hope you take in Joe and Jude on your journey today. Joe's journey is over but we will always take him with us on ours.
Post a Comment